Thunderbolts desperate to find solution to double-header dilemma

Inspired by the recent revelation of the fleet of DeLorean time-travel machines to be used exclusively by the Maxwell's Silver Hammers in order to allow the Hammers' starters to be "in two places at once", the Texas Thunderbolts have been searching both far and wide for an acceptable alternative to allow the T-Bolts to be "dually-located" and therefore, be able to use their starters in both games. This is simply too big an advantage for one team to have over the rest of the FFFL.

Initially, the Thunderbolts hired a team of "creative consultants" to try and devise a similar plan that would allow the T-Bolts to reap the benefits of time-travelling automobiles. These consultants, known in certain circles as the A-Team (below), were believed to have been successful in creating a time-traveling vehicle 20 years ago by using a black 1980 Dodge van with a spoiler and a red, diagonal pinstripe. However,on that fateful night in 1987, the A-Team's prototype time-traveling van was sent on a mission and vanished with the A-Team aboard, only to reappear last Tuesday, virtually destroyed. Since then, the A-Team has tried using both a Ford Pinto and a Chevrolet Chevette to house the time-travel unit, but neither automobile could sustain a top speed of even 50 mph, let alone reach the required minimum of 88 mph needed for time-travel. Unfortunately, this wasn't discovered until the A-Team had spent their project's entire budget allotment on the Pinto, Chevette, and a 12-pound 24-carat gold necklace. Clearly, this was not the way to go and the Thunderbolts and the A-Team have since parted ways.

Several of the other FFFL teams have had better luck in their quest. As recently as yesterday, the Wild Bunch announced an deal with AT&T for the exclusive use of a group of time-traveling telephone booths to be piloted by Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan (right). This definately got the attention of the Thunderbolts executives as this allows both of the Thunderbolts opponents for Week 1 to be able to be at full strength for their respective games.

There is also the deal between the Agate Types and Dr. Sam Beckett (right) involving the use of his invention, the Quantum Leap accelerator. This agreement is considered very risky as there is no guarantee that the Agate Type players will actually end up at the site of their Week 1 road game versus the Curley Wolves. Even if, by some miracle, the Types do make it there, immediately after the game, the Types would have to work together with a hologram named Al to put right what went wrong and then hope that each time they leap that their next leap would be the leap that sends them home.

A rather unique approach is being tried by the Las Cruces Fightin' Powder Puffs as they have been speaking to Doug Kinney and his three clones, Lance, Rico, and Steve (left) about the process of cloning some of the Powder Puffs' players in order to be able to play both games simultaneously. Personally, to me, this method reeks of desperation and should only be considered as a last resort. Although, four LaDainian Tomlinsons on The Texas Thunderbolts' team roster would be VERY nice indeed!